9. Gamling cheated on his SATs, and still only got a 600.
8. Gamling buys Michael Jackson records.
7. Gamling is really a dwarf who drank some Entwash.
6. Gamling rapes and pillages Kathleen Turner and her 2 children who call her
5. Gamling ate Asian reporter Trisha Takenawa, only to get hungry an hour later.
4. Gamling makes the worst chicken parm I've ever tasted. And he still brags about how good it is.
3. Gamling exposed Janet Jackson's right breast during the Super Bowl.
2. Gamling doesn't even know how to ride a bike.
1. Gamling touches me, you know, DOWN THERE!!!